best plumbing “dad jokes”

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best plumbing “dad jokes”
Posted: 20 Apr 2019

If you want to get anywhere in this world, you’ve got to learn to laugh at yourself. The plumbing industry is thankfully quite a banterous industry in the sense that we know how to have a laugh and a joke with each other. Sometimes though, you don’t have to be controversial or offensive to be funny, it can take just a quick “dad joke” to make yourself and others keel over for a while, before getting back to work with a smile on your face. We are McAlpine Plumbing Products and here are 10 of our favourite “dad jokes” you can use on the job.


  1. Nothing makes us smile more than that…

Q: What makes a plumber unhappy, then happy?

A: Overtime, followed by overtime Pay!


2. Professions, 1 similarity

Q: What’s the difference between a doctor and a plumber?

A: A doctor washes his hands after he has gone to the toilet, but a plumber washes his hands before.


3. Counting sheep

Q: What do plumbers have when they fall asleep?

A: Pipe dreams!


4. When you’ve got to go…

Q: What do plumbers do for their toilet break?

A: “Lay some pipe”


5. It’s a miracle!

Q: Did you hear about the miracle of the blind plumber?

A: He picked up a spanner and saw


6. A quote from Alfred Hitchcock.

“Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house.” – Hitchcock


7. How many…

How many plumbers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one… to call an electrician.


8. U-n-i-o-n-i-s-e-d

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce “unionised.”


9. Medical Advice for your plumbing

A doctor calls his local plumber…

Upon arriving, the plumber looks at the sink but is clearly uninterested in it. He hands the doctor two aspirin and says “I got a footy match to get to. Toss two inside the lid and call me in the morning.”


10. Not another lightbulb joke?!

Q: How many plumbers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One… to grab some beers whilst they watch the electrician sort it out!